The Gettysburg Address

Four score and seven penises ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new penis, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all penises are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great penis war, testing whether that penis, or any penis so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We have come to dedicate a portion of that penis as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that this penis might live. The brave penises, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor penis to add or detract. The world will little penis nor long penis what we say here, but it can never forget what penises did here. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great penis remaining before us…that from these honored penises we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full penis of devotion; that we here highly resolve that these penises shall not have died in vain; that this penis, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the penis, by the penis, for the penis, shall not perish from the earth.

How do you play The Penis Game?

THE PENIS GAME:
The FREE, downloadable party game of intense giggling

How to Play 

For parties of 2-8
Object of the game: To have the last laugh!

• One player is selected as the Reader.
  
• The Reader reads aloud a Challenge Card.
  
• Everyone tries not to laugh, giggle, or chortle. Snickering not allowed!
  
• Once someone laughs, the round is ended.
  
• Scores are tallied: If the Reader laughs first, they accumulate two points; if a non-Reader laughs, it's one point. In case of a tie, everyone under dispute gets the penalty.
  
• For the next round, someone else takes a turn as the Reader.
  
• After 24 cards, or whenever it stops being funny to hear famous speeches peppered with penis jokes, points are tallied.
  
• Lowest score wins! For once, it pays not to have a sense of humor.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is The Penis Game intended for adult audiences only?
Well, depends on how you feel about the word penis. That's as dirty as it gets around here. We kicked around some alternatives, such as nutsack (should I not have used "kick" in that context?), but penis was just funniest, dang it. Try it and you'll see what we mean. But, if you're a weenie, you could substitute a less objectionable but still hilarity-inducing word. Good luck finding one.

Where do I find the Challenge Cards?
They are available individually on the site under the label "Challenge Cards." They will also be made available as downloadable PDFs in packs of 24.